Community Means Acceptance

Updated: Feb 20

Musings from a Snow Day

By SandyG

I am starting this blog post as an exploration, as a reminder, and as a proclamation. This snowy and icy day forces the stay in, the slow down, and allows for focus on all those extra bits and pieces that get pushed aside in the wake of immediate needs other days. This and the fact that my television is broken, and Netflix can only go so far on my phone.

I embark on today’s tasks at the laptop; coffee hot in the mug on the table. I am deftly scrolling and editing my semester’s syllabus, quickly responding to emails, swiftly checking to-dos off in valiant success. I am making progress! I am getting shit done! I am crushing it! Beyoncé sings to me from the Bluetooth - “You are power incarnate. Your womanhood is your strength. Be your own best friend!” I say back to her, “Yes, thank you. I am a Queen.”

This my friends, is my morning version of feminism. The Go-After-What-You-Deserve-Because-You-Are-A-Badass-Ladyboss vibe. I say ‘version’, of feminism because this iteration is subject to change. It is not wholly subscribed too as what it means to be a feminist. What about the feminism narrative found littered all over Instagram memes, the Men-Are-Trash-And-We-Deserve-Better vibe? Or the even different narrative of Support-Other-Women-At-All-Costs? The inverse of cancel-culture trends that takedown women (and men) who do not support acceptance and inclusivity. None of these are ranked or better than another; they are the product of different womxn, different perspectives, and different desires on what it means to be Female today.

The definition and expression of feminism has changed greatly since I started paying attention around the age of 15, and many, many times before that. I have best friends now who would NEVER call themselves a feminist, yet understand the importance of the stereotype they are busting when they lift far more hay bales than any male counterpart, and they relish it. That works for them. Other friends own collections of “the Future is Female” shirts and buttons. They wear them loud and proud.

Are any of these approaches wrong? However to even ask the question actually seems wrong - The idea of pitting different expressions against each other as counter-feminist, whatever the definition may be. Yet I believe there are many places we can all agree. Discrimination based on ability, class, ethnicity, gender identity, nationality, race, religion, sexual orientation, and many other forms of expression and physical traits, is a big NO. A desire to grow and give space and understanding to other’s perspectives, intersections, realities, and lived experiences is a YES. Acceptance that none of us know all the answers right now, and can learn better from each other, is imperative.

So, can I continue to hold accountable female conservative talking heads promoting divisiveness, while also blindly believing sexual assault victims? Can Support-All-Women coexist with Canceling-Problematic-Ones? Can I be a #Ladyboss and still love cooking the men in my life dinner every night?

These snow day musings are to say that feminism is an exploration, and finding a community that accepts that exploration is what we are making here at Femidish. We want to hold accountable current and past mistakes, and still create room to ask questions, change our minds, and grow together based on new learning. Will you join this community of acceptance?



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